Seeking Solace 5/100

The porch light was on as I made my up to the front of my house. Bruises covered my body and my muscles ached with every step I took. My lip was busted and there were tears in my suit along with several cuts. I was coated in head to toe from dirt and ash. Small tears were spilling out of the corner of my eyes and the tear trails were outlined in dirt. I took several shaky breaths trying to hold in the sobs as I walked up the steps and onto the front porch. I didn’t bother to look at the women in the reflection of the glass. I knew I liked like hell. I didn’t need a reminder of it. I didn’t need a reminder of the failure I am.

My gloved hand reached for the door knob and I turned the knob, silently opening the door to my house. I shakily stepped in and closed the door behind me, taking a deep breath. A familiar figure on the couch turned around to face me with a smile. “Honey, you’re home!” He shouted in happiness, getting up to greet me. The smile soon faded from his face once he saw the state I was in. His face became one of concern and he rushed over to me, pulling me into his arms. All I could do was to burst into tears and allow the sobs to shake my body.

“Hey, Jess, it’s okay. What’s the matter?” He soothed, stroking my hair and holding me close. I found solace in his arms at that moment, allowing the some of the weight to dissipate off of my shoulders

I was able to regain myself for a moment before replying “I was supposed to save them. I was supposed to save all of them. They were counting on me and I let them down! I am supposed to be a superhero and I let them down!” The tears resumed their steady downpour and the sobs picked up again. How could I have failed them? I was supposed to be a superhero; I was supposed to protect them!

He gave me a tight hug for a few minutes and comforted me with sweet nothings. He stepped back and placed both hands on the side of my face. My hands reached up for his. “Honey, it isn’t your fault. You might be superwomen, but you are not perfect. You are going to make mistakes. You can’t expect to save everyone. Darling, you tried. No one blames you.”

“No! They should! People died because of my mistake! If only I had gotten there a few minutes earlier, they would still be alive!” I cried. It was my entire fault. I should have saved them! There was no excuse for my failure!

I could see the disbelief and anger flash in his eyes. He shook his head as if he was disappointed with the words coming out of my mouth. “Jessica Marie O’Connor, You need to stop blaming yourself. The police don’t blame you. The News doesn’t blame you. No one does. Even if you got there earlier, he still would have killed them. You fought to save them.” He countered.

He took off my mask and placed it on the table near our doorway. My gaze dropped to our feet as he hands left the side of my face. “Jess, you need to look at me.” I looked up and stared into his eyes, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Jess, when I took your hand in marriage for better or worse, it meant that on days when the world was too much for you to bear on your shoulders alone, I would be there to bear it with you. You aren’t alone. You did what you could and you can’t blame yourself. Next time, you will be able to save them. You can’t always save everyone. Jess, everything is going to be okay. I promise you that.” He took my hands in his and kissed my lips gently to seal the promise.

I kissed back enjoying the solace I found in him. He would always be my solace. It didn’t matter whether I was having a bad day at the hospital or the villain got away from me. I could always find solace with him. My husband, Dylan, would always be source of comfort.

Till death do us part,

For better or for worse,

Dylan was my solace.

Word Count: 748


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