My mind was blank as I stared at the blank Microsoft Word Document before me. Apparently, my teacher decided to assign with one of those stupid essays that you get after break because the teachers are ‘trying to ease you back in’. What a load of crap. The assignments are stupid and you never really know what to write because you feel like a bit of a fool and you always worry you are never quite doing what they want. The essay prompt was ‘What makes you happy’? I could not tell if she wanted a light, fluffy answer or if she wanted a deep, thoughtful answer. Oh great, I bet you someone was going to use that John Lennon quote. I like the guy, but you know someone is going to use it.
I laid my head down on the desk and let out an aggravated sigh. What the hell was I going to do about my essay? Nothing seemed to fit my own vision. My first thought was to think of things that I liked and generally enjoyed. However, none of them really fit my vision of happiness. While I could think of all the things I liked, there was always something that made me truly unhappy. They did not always make me happy, thus they could not be sources of happiness. I resumed sitting up proper and staring at my blank Microsoft Word Document. There really had to be something that made me truly happy.
My eyes scanned around my room and settled on my worn copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. It was one of my favorite books in the whole word and I thought about how much reading made me happy. Then, I thought about how when I read bad books, I was not happy. Maybe, that was the point. There are a lot of things that make me happy, but there are times, they do not make me happy. I started to think about the imperfect happy things.
I love to read and brings me happiness, but there are certain books I find boring and dull.
I love to play my guitar, but there are days I feel frustrated about the way I play.
I love music, but some of it is just absolutely terrible.
I love to watch movies, but some of them are not worth the time.
I love to hang out with my friends and family, but there are just times where I want to be alone.
I love to learn, but some teachers are so terrible, it hurts to try and learn. Occasionally, there are times where I do not understand the material.
Happiness is not perfect. Happiness is not the absence of all these negative things. It’s about finding something you love and being happy while you do it, while realizing you are not going to be happy all the time. You learn to look past the negative. You can not always be happy, but that does not mean that you can not have happiness. There are always going to be times where happiness is abundant and other times, when it is not. Suddenly, writing that essay was not so painful and I finally had found my inspiration.
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