I Don’t Deserved To Be Loved

I don’t deserve to be loved
In anyway shape or form.

I don’t deserve to be loved
Because I can’t look at someone
And know I am the one
Who is holding them back.

I don’t deserve to be loved
Because I will get irrationally
Angry, sad, and worried and
They will try to comfort me
Even when I don’t deserve it.

I don’t deserve to be loved
Because I will push them away,
Build walls higher than before
And say things I don’t mean
Just to make them leave,
Before they can really hurt me.

I don’t deserve to be loved,
Because I don’t want to be loved.

Tragic

You are a tragic hero
Painted by society to
Deliver bottled hope
In the form of interviews
And manufactured speeches
Never really letting
Anyone know the human
Behind the golden mask
We will all mourn
When you are gone
From our fleeting lives
But not for too long
It is oh so tragic
That you are replaceable
It is oh so tragic
That you think you are one in a million
It is oh so tragic
When
You
Fall
Off
Your
Pedestal.

 

In a Fog

I am living my life in a fog
Of sadness and misery
Turning the world grey.

I am living my life in a fog
Of loneliness and isolation,
Unsure of who is still there.

I am living my life in a fog
Of consuming emptiness,
Eating me from the inside.

I am living my life in a fog,
Not quite truly feeling anything
Slowly losing my humanity.

Peace

Peace is realizing I am flawed beyond belief,
Realizing that these flaws help to make me,
No matter how much they seem to hurt.

Peace is finding an inner acceptance with myself,
Knowing that there are things I can never change
And changing what I can in the time I have now.

Peace is standing for what is right no matter
How much it alienates you from others, because
There is nothing is worse than standing silent.

Peace is not the absence of darkness in the light
It is the light shining in the darkest of times
Making you twice as strong as you were before.

Barbie

From a young age, she was taught
A plastic doll was the ideal form,
An unattainable beauty to strive for
Or she would never get anywhere.

For years, she struggled with the idea
That she could never become this,
And she fought with the demons who
Tried to convince her that she was a failure.

One day, she realized she was beautiful,
The way she already looked in the mirror.
She didn’t have to be the child hood plastic doll;
She only had to be the best version of herself.

(Inspired by this image. Credit goes to the artist.)

Android Daydream

Androids daydream of electric skies
Painted blue in rubber coated wires and
Clouds made of evolving information

Androids daydream of existence
Trying to understand their creator
And their difference from her

Androids daydream of humanity
Envious of feeling something more
But appalled by their destruction

Androids daydream of feelings
Wondering if they could ever feel
Or if it is just another part of the design

Androids daydream of becoming human
Having real skin and real emotions instead
Of being ostracized for their mechanical heart

Mystery

She never makes any sense to him
And her mystery drives him mad
The Mad Man can’t figure her out
There isn’t anything to figure out
He wonders how a girl like her
Could be such a challenge to a man
No, to a creature so old, like him
Who has seen the beginning to the end
He wishes he could fit the pieces together
But he is still missing some of her pieces

Her mystery infuriates a madman like him
And all he can hear repeating in his head is
“Run you clever boy and remember.”