Phrase 14-I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I stared at the dinner before me with a confused look on my face. There was definitely supposed to be meat here. I thrived on meat. “Where’s the meat?” I asked, wondering if this was some cruel prank. Kayla had to be pulling a prank. She wouldn’t do this to me, would she?
“There is no meat! I have decided to become a vegetarian and from now on, we will not be eating anything containing animal products.” Kayla said, happily taking a bite of the offending dinner. I loved my girlfriend, but damn, I hated when she did things like this.
I frowned for a moment, before saying, “Haha, okay. Very funny. I thought you were making lemon chicken tonight?” I had been counting on that lemon chicken; I had been force fed healthy food at the company luncheon. My boss was on a health kick and that meant she was monitoring everyone else closely. I shuddered at the memory of wheatgrass.
“I was, but now I am a vegetarian and therefore, I can’t have lemon chicken. So, I decided we would have a salad with some Tofu.” She said like it was the most rational thought in the world.
“What the fuck? I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!” I said, panic rising in my chest. It was like my worst nightmare realized. I never knew how close our vegetarian overlords were to taking over.
“Stop being so dramatic Lana. It won’t kill you.” She said, a bit cross at my response.
I looked dubiously at the Tofu, than Kayla. I guess I would have to make the best of terrible situation which meant buckling in for the ride and making snappy jokes along the way. I took a bite of the Tofu and wrapped my hands around my throat. “Oh no! The tofu is killing me!” I shouted, pretending to choke on it
I could see Kayla try not to laugh at my terrible sense of humor out of the corner of my eye. She always hated when I did like things like this. They weren’t exactly the things you should laugh at, but you laughed at them anyway. “Stop being so dramatic.” She tried to say, with the occasional burst of laughter.
I swallowed the piece of Tofu and said, “You know you love it when I am dramatic!”
She rolled her eyes at me and threw a piece of Tofu at me. The two of us laughed and continued on with our daily meal. You know, Tofu wasn’t actually so bad.